Gears of Halo loves you long time. They so horny.

Cortana and friend.

If you run your own website you may have checked the site analytics once in while to see what draws people to the site. I often find amusing the search terms that people often come up with but given the internet is used for three things namely porn, jokes and everything else, it’s not surprising some of the search terms that people use to find Gears of Halo.

Take the sexy Cortana for instance, she’s the iconic purple princess from Halo that drives the fan boy’s crazy with her well defined breasts. So people often therefore search for ‘Cortana having sex with the Master Chief’. I can’t help you other there but perhaps this article on why Halo: Reach is better than sex might be of interest. That’s right, Gears of Halo does it’s best to love you long time!

And speaking of Reach, the one armed Kat has certainly caught the hearts and minds of lovers everywhere with search terms like ‘kat fucking’ and ‘kat nude’ cropping up quite often.

I completely understand the need to find Aisha Tyler pictures or Aisha Taylor with two Princess Leias because we actually have that! In fact Princess Leia bikinis are kind of mandatory round here:

Double Trouble!

There’s clearly a few fans of the Tekken movie too. Some searchers clearly think of Kelly Overton as more than the girl next door… but Dr Halsey nude? Really people? As for your ballon fetish needs we do have that covered.

It was probably a mistake to do a few posts on cosplay. Costume’s are a common part of fantasy role play for sex partners, so it is not surprise that Mistress Madi dressed as the Master Chief is a hit through the google search. Sexy Supergirl costume? We have her too.

Why people need to find images of ‘nude spartans’ and Jun naked is beyond me. Miss Valentine’s Cortana Cosplay is extremely popular for some reason too. Can’t figure out why…. We have a half naked Ironman (or is this an Ironlady?) as well. Who said comics were for geeks?

Tattoos are also a very popular cultural thing this days, they are becoming more popular as social norms and good Christian values erode and deliquescent youth rise up against their underachieving parents. Well, that’s what my grand dad things. He might be right judging by the popular need to find cortana naked tattoos via google. We don’t have those but we do have some Master Chief tattoos for your viewing pleasure.

 

Who said woman shouldn’t be in the infantry?

But it’s not all Halo related either, Anya Stroud from Gears of War clearly features high in the sexual pleasure fantasies of some fans. I don’t think she would pose for those so inclined to see her tied to the bed some how ok? She’s a lady after all. An locust horde ass kicking lady, but a lady none-the-less!

So, now you know what people really use the internet for eh? What’s your favorite search term? Should I be brave enough to let you leave it in the comments section?

Originally Published as Gears of Halo: We Love You Long Time

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Katy Did It

Photoshoped images. Airbrushed photos It happens to the best of us, we do a bit of modeling there, a cover story for People Magazine there and they air brush out out freckles, flabby bits and huckery moles. But what about those celebrities? They need all the help they can get right? The term the beautiful people was meant to be ironic right? People like Katy Perry need all the help she can get right? After all, she’s as as ugly as dirt right?

Well apparently Rolling Stone Magazine thought so for their cover shoot of Katy. Here’s an airbrushed image of Katy Perry that’s doing the rounds on twitter which shows a before the airbrushing and afterwards. The differences between ugly Katy and pretty Perry are amusing…

 

It’s amusing to see how Rolling Stone made Katy’s boobs bigger, totally rearranged her fingers, removed that mole thingy on her chest and made her other wise sexy tummy even trimmer. She’s a dish! No wonder Russell Brand snapped her up! In fact rumour has it, he only proposed to Katy after this copy of Rolling Stone turned up in his mailbox.

 

Truth is, sex sells and Rolling Stone knows it. Even the makers of Halo know it. I’m sure Katy knows it herself. It’s no biggy, the question is really, does Katy need airbrushing?

 

There are some things you can’t photoshop or air brush out however. Live action shots! Here’s Katy getting slimed! Either that or she just had sex with Shrek.

 

Originally published as

Katy Perry: Before and After the Airbrushing

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Gagaing for it?

What is it that takes people to the Edge of Glory, only for them to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory? I mean, the Black Caps can hardly win a match to save themselves. Maybe the players were all born this way, destined to be starring at the sun, forever playing second fiddle to what ever nation turns up at the Pavillion?

Marcus Fenix would never have this problem.

All I’m saying is the Black Caps were lucky it rained today……

Extra for Experts: Clearly this post is a bunch of nonsense. This link on SEO may explain why…

 

Maybe you are more of a Pink Floyd fan? You might be pleased to know the band has announced plans to release a new album called The Endless Summer. Here’s the lyrics.

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ME Review

So like I finally completed Mass Effect 2 and it’s quite the game eh? But you already knew that didn’t you? I tend to be very picky with my Xbox game purchases and will often only purchase a game well after the hype has died and the reviews and reflections of seasoned gamers are to be found. That was how I found the original Mass Effect and when the price was right, I snapped it up.

After that Magnificent game, I don’t know why I delayed getting ME2 for so long. It’s a triumph of story telling, it’s your own pick-a-path in space – knowing the choices I make for our hero Commander Sheppard have repercussions in game and in ME3 can make for a tortuous exercise at times!

Knowing that I have a renegade Sheppard game saved for another run through meant I could generally keep a firm line – I usually chose a paragon action over the renegade but once in a while it was literally fun to stab someone in the back.

The characters to be found in ME2 are almost larger than life. When you get passed the dullsville that is Jacob, the Krogan known as Grunt, and to a certain extent, Miranda, the Mass Effect universe is full of interesting characters. I really enjoyed chatting with Mordin Solus about the ethics of the genophage and Samara’s views on vigilante justice. I was disappointed when I managed to let her die during the suicide mission – I won’t let that happen on my second run though!

I found the combat to be improved this time round, I don’t know if was all my training with the sniper rifle in Halo: Reach or that they made it easier but this was my goto weapon for most encounters. I liked how MED made the whole weapons arrangement systems ‘automatic’.

 

Despite lots of complaints from people, I didn’t mind the mining operation part of the game to fund weapon upgrades and the like. Sometimes a bit of toil can bring rewards and I figure doing all of that helped build to a successful suicide mission outcome (maybe further run throughs with different choices may render that idea redundant?).

 

The original game was perhaps infamous as it allowed your character to pursue sexual conquests with your team mate. Clearly the ME2 designers had still not been told of the expression, never screw the crew, because I managed to get it on with Miranda. Here’s my reward:

 

It was amusing to meet ME’s original love, Ashely on a mission wherein she immediately got all mad at Sheppard for dying on her, not calling or whatever and basically threw a sulking tantrum only to apologise by an email later on. Does sleeping with Miranda after ‘chat’ that mean Sheppard cheated on Ashley? What repercussions if any will this have for Mass Effect 3? Either way, I stayed away from that Jack girl. She got crazy coming out her ears!

I did appeciate how the choices made in ME1 had some influence on this new story. While I may have shot a certain grumpy Krogan die because he bored me and let the Arachni Queen live simply because I like spiders, I was pleased to see they had an relevance in ME2 – and so see how the alien races in universe of ME are slowly banding together as a result of in game actions is a great example of game play and story telling.

Overall I immensely enjoyed my first run through of Mass Effect, it as a mulitude of stories to tell, many aliens to shoot and the graphics and cut scenes were top notch. Bring on Sheppard saving Earth in ME3

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